#MommyMondays Parenting Woes

#MM: Honor Your Word

Hey, my loves! Happy Monday!
It’s been so long since I’ve been able to write you guys… I missed you!

I’ve been getting acclimated with my new position. I am away from computers until I get home. I am glad that I do follow a lot of you guys outside the site. Which is awesome because it gives me a chance to connect with you and it gives you an opportunity to know the candid Ashleigh.

~B.A.E. NEWS~

I am now an official Brand Ambassador for Just Strong Clothing. Just Strong Clothing specializes in workout clothes for women.  If you’re on our mailing list or follow or social media, you’ve already received the special code. I personally am in love with their clothing. Its comfortable for working out, but its super comfy to lounge in (why not lounge and be cute and comfortable?!) Visit their site here and also follow them on IG, tell them Ashleigh Noelle sent you.

Also, it’s Monday! Which means, my fam will be on the air tonight for The Unbounded Show. Our topic this week is – when you’re in a new relationship, who comes first? Your friends or your new partner? Make sure to download the VVC Radio app or visit us online to tune in tonight at 8:30 pm.

~Honor Your Word~

So this past weekend, I was browsing all of my groups on facebook and I saw where a child had ripped up his allowance that he was given because – It wasn’t what he was promised. Now, I went through the comments, and there were so many people like “I’d whoop their ass”. I disagree.

I feel like this child makes a very bold, valid statement – DON’T PLAY WITH MY MONEY! Period. I was raised by a generation, who made children feel like their voices and opinions don’t matter and hold no weight, which technically violates their right to freedom of speech. I’m a different kind of parent, I acknowledge the fact that when I had my children, my life was no longer mine, but it belongs to Nino and Bubbie. It’s my job to teach them and train them in this world to be upstanding citizens. It’s my job to teach them how to stand up for themselves and speak up. Even if that means checking me, respectfully. I have no problem with that.

As parents, we’re wrong. We don’t know EVERYTHING, and we know this factually because I highly doubt you can sit and tell me a time your parent was wrong and you knew it, and you wanted to light that ass up! But we couldn’t cause that whooping after ain’t worth it.

I personally feel as parents, we set the tone for how our children will be later in life. If we belittle them, downplay their feelings and don’t respect their opinions, the triggers of that can go anywhere from being domestic terrorists to depressive souls. If we don’t give them an opportunity to stand up for themselves or defend themselves against us, they never will in life.

With my children, I love how I parent. I had people try to convince me that my kids were bad, and needed whoopings, my last toxic asshole mistake hated how I parent. But, children are more receptive to positive reinforcements verses “Ima beat your ass” or actually getting whoopings. For me, because I am no longer depressed and dealing with the last toxic asshole mistake, I am able to discipline without putting my hands on them and I am able to carry out punishments.

Had I been the parent in this situation, I would’ve first of all, had a conversation prior to giving my child their allowance. It would be me reiterating our agreement, it would be me explaining that there’s a discrepancy and why. Regardless, if its “you didn’t take the trash out Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, and because of that your allowance has been docked” or “Mommy had to pay a bill today and I’m a few dollars short. This is what I’ll give you today and the rest at a later date.” They deserve common courtesy and respect as well. HONOR YOUR WORD. Because the minute a child realizes your words and your actions ain’t shit, whatever respect they do have, will diminish. And please spare me that “do as I say, not as I do” bull crap. HONOR YOUR WORD AND YOUR BOND TO YOUR CHILD!

It just baffles me how, I can watch people talk to their landlords, police officers, their bosses WAY more respectful than they do their own flesh and blood. People won’t do anything but twitter fingers or talk subliminal shit when they feel slighted by adults, but quick to assert power, and put hands on their child. I could never. I give my babies an open platform and I swear we have been smooth sailing. Some bumps in the road with doing a reintroduction to this lifestyle, but I’m not a physical discipline parent, and you just know what works.

That’s all I got for you today. I will try to have something posted Wednesday. Don’t forget to make sure you join our facebook group, Silent Conversations, and our mailing list!

Until next time…
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