Why is it that in a world where everyone wants you to be real, authentic and/or legit, people are so fake? How can one present themselves to be more than they are, forcing others to fall for the potential of them, and its only once they know they “secured” you, you see the truth?
These men, always show signs, and we as women ignore them. We ignore our gut instincts. We ignore all the warning signs until its too late. I learned a valuable lesson this weekend, always trust your gut.
Dating and trying to have fun, I met someone. He was really nice, and really made me feel good about myself, presented himself in a way where, I thought if I opened up to him, I just knew I would be safe. Life happened as always, and now I’m just sitting here wondering. This man’s integrity has come into question twice in one month…
I’ve been saying lately that any interaction I have, if I get one bad vibe, I am out. Yet, what I notice about women, we always wanna give these men the benefit of doubt and it’s gotta stop. The first time it was like, eh.. okay… the second time? NOPE!! Like seriously, don’t ignore the red flags. Don’t keep going around the monopoly board and collect $200, only to turn around and sit in jail, while he running around free without a care in the world. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
With dating, if the conversation goes sexual faster than I would like, #blocked. If dude is more worried about “one on one” time in an intimate setting, #blocked. Can we go out bro? Can I get to know you a little bit? Like what is the fascination of these guys and initially they either want you to come to their house, or they would come to you. Its like, taboo to say “lets go on a date” and I’m not the woman that’s going to court and chase a man. I refuse.
We as women make it so easy for these guys to fuck us over, constantly. It has to stop. I’m tired of having my heartbroken, I’m tired of my friend’s hearts being broken. I’m tired of seeing women fall into the pits at the hands of a man. Chin up sis.. Don’t listen to that shit he telling you, watch is actions.
Here’s some things I’ve picked up on that I call bullshit and I hope it helps:
- Busy/Demanding Work – He lying. People make time for what they want to make time for. Sis, if you find yourself asking him to spend time with you, go on dates whatever the case may be and it doesn’t happen, its because he’s not interested. If he was, you wouldn’t be suggesting shit and he’d be making shit happen.
- Friends w/ exs or women that want him – If he swears up and down his ex, that broke his heart is his bestie… he’s probably still fucking. Or being friends with someone who wants him, he’s probably fucking. We as women don’t keep men around if they are feeding, fucking or financing us. Clear indication is the disrespect, his inability or unwillingness to check said females.
- Reverse Victim Role – these guys get caught up in shit, and be fake hurt. My guy friend hit me with the “you got me messed up” text after our fall out. Like no bro, you got me FUCKED up.
All I can say is be “too much” for these guys. Don’t dumb down your wants, needs or feelings to appease or satisfy anybody who’s only giving you enough to wrap you up and then they leave you slipping. Don’t fall for the potential. Don’t fall in love with the idea of someone because the reality of them will crush you. Take your time, keep your guard up. The right man, will take your flaws and insecurity like candy in his hand, and turn your lows into your rainbow.
I have to get some work done, so until next time….