Being single is exhausting. I haven’t really done a lot of dating. I’ve been on a few apps, gone out a few times and these male creatures these days are just energy draining demons, seriously. The guys I’ve met have been very honest about what they want, but their approach is what gets them in trouble.
Ladies, these men are out here portraying that they want everything you want, but, they really only just want ass. I’ve witnessed it from my male friends and I’ve dealt with it first hand. Again, remember I’m trying to embrace the lifestyle of celibacy as well because these fools out here don’t deserve none of my chocolate goodness, okay.
This week has been one of the hardest for me because I am horny. I miss the touch and scent of a man. I want to cuddle and be held. I would love to be in the arms of someone I at least like a little bit and pray to sleep through the night. I want to go out or just lay up and watch movies and laugh. My love languages are affirmations, acts of service, physical touch and quality time, so while it may seem like the things I want is innocent and should be easy to get being single but its not. Simply because those are kinda like the keys to my heart.
Getting through the lonely nights have been hard, but here’s what’s been helping me. I hope this carries me through the winter too because doesn’t look like I signed up for Cuffin Season in time, lol.
- Plan your evening ahead of time
I try to plan my evening before I get off work. I noticed that not having plans and going home without one simply depresses me. That’s when I get to scrolling through my phone wondering who could possibly entertain me. I do not want to spend time or have anyone in my space because I am lonely. I refuse.
- Keep Your Space Comfy
I love Candles. Usually once the sun starts setting I shower, light my candles and incense. I may have music playing or the tv. I love my bedroom cold, but being cold sucks when your alone, so I cuddle with my heating pad. Get a nice glass of wine and either vibe out to music or binge watch some kind of show.
- You don’t have to say yes
Right now, as my friends have said my “breakup glow up is immaculate”. when “I just got out of a relationship” guys assume we’re desperate for attention, and will accept whatever to not be alone. But that’s not true. I love saying no, I don’t want to do drinks tonight. No, I don’t want to go to dinner. Regardless if there is another option or not, I just don’t have to and so many women have that mentality that if a man asks you out, you go. Ehhh, NOPE!
- Self Love *Wink*
Ultimately, its not as good as the real thing. In fact, its kinda depressing going from being fucked to fucking yourself. But I’d rather be the person who makes me cum than being just another tally mark on a man’s chart.
Getting through the nights are hard, and I don’t know why my desire and urges have been so strong this week, *side eye* Eclipse?. I may have an idea, but nonetheless, I always win. Feeling lonely doesn’t define me. Especially when it comes to having to protect everything that’s me. My time. My energy. My heart. My being.