*checks mirror* biiiihhhhhh do you know who the fuck I am?!
I had that moment, I remembered exactly, who the fuck I am and it’s NOT the Juggarnaught Bitch! (Click link for video reference).
I am a strong, independent, black QUEEN. I have my family I take care of on my own. I been through shit, I’m going through some shit and it’s always gon be some shit! But wanna know what I’m learning? I can’t let SHIT keep on defining me!! Seriously, life has been hard, but I know who the fuck I am. BITCH, I am ME! I am a MOTHER, DAUGHTER, SISTER, HOMIE, LOVER, FRIEND.
Lately, I’ve spent more time moping and crying over the bad, I stopped appreciating the good. I have to remember just because life gets harder than normal, doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.
I could say in a sense I had a silver spoon in my mouth. While I worked hard for everything I had, I didn’t appreciate it because for so long I knew if I ever took a loss I’d be okay. My family was my crutch, and my pedestal. Their approval and support ranked at so much value that if that of anything remotely looked like a fail, they spoke and I jumped, but that’s stopped. Now, I’m doing my own thing, it’s hard because the support and love I don’t feel is there. But I understand change doesn’t sit well and it takes time to adjust.
I do know that, I can this by myself. I can get stronger. I will become whole again. My depression and anxiety will no longer control me. I shall find peace and solace in all that I do. My happiness, is most important. I will no longer sensor the way I love, laugh, write, sing, parent, cook, work, drive or anything for that matter cause, BITCH IM ME!!
This transformation is so amazing to me. I’m really putting forth the energy, effort and patience into this transformation. I know the woman I want to be, and I’m not close, but the road to get there is beautiful.
Not taking any prisoners – all summer 17. It’s MY time. Ima do ME! Guess everybody gotta get on board or get left cause…. this train is leaving the station.