Random Thoughts of Ashleigh Noelle

Differences….

For me, all my life I’ve been reminded of how I’m not like your average person. How, I am so different from others that it’s scary because my heart is bigger, I don’t hold grudges, and I love and give the benefit of doubt to anyone. I will say that me growing up sheltered is probably the reason why I prefer my world of obliviousness. Being an adult and dealing with some of the things I deal and have dealt with is beyond explanation. 

For instance, I really didn’t know bitches females, were such assholes. Everything for the most part is for the attention of a man and rarely for ourselves. Women get heartbroken, their friends encourage them to either take time to heal or find a new man. Women will go to the gym and change their bodies or go to the salon and change their hair for the acceptance of a man. Women go as far as changing their hair to a mans favorite color in hopes of gaining his attention and it makes me wonder why is everything for the attention of a man? 

We as women are sisters. Regardless to the race of these men, heartbreak is heartbreak, doesn’t make it any better. I feel as women, we should never be the reason why another woman cries, especially when we’ve been there. Karma is crazy and always comes back worse. I’m in a group on a social site and almost weekly there is a young lady upset because she took an L. Finally found the man she was in love with and he cheated on her with her best friend. Sadly for her, she’s the young lady that was ok with sending another woman’s man nudes, while he laid up with his woman. Okay with getting a peice and settling because you don’t feel worthy of more and I don’t feel one ounce of sympathy for her. But I guess that’s where my differences come in and why I don’t understand the female logic. Granted we thrive off emotions, but to us our emotions are logical and the reactions are warranted, I just don’t understand bitches females. 

I don’t really get caught up in hearsay, most of the time now as an adult, you come to me it stays to me. I might tell my boyfriend cause I tell him everything but I’m not that friend who will sit in one conversation with friend A to talk shit about friend B and then run to friend C about A and B. I’m not the girl who prey hurt on people for my own selfish gain. I’m the one who wants everyone to win and I don’t hold grudges. Seriously, I’ve supported bitches females even after finding some inexplicits and I couldve leaked them, popped up at the door and act the way that society deems acceptable. But instead I prayed that God healed her weak minded ass and learned what not to do on video. But ultimately I try my best to move in ways that bad karma doesn’t have to pay a visit because I know I can’t handle life in shambles.

I don’t put much energy or focus into things that don’t benefit me or that I don’t care about. So when I do care it’s my all, all the time. No matter what, work, school, friends, family or love, I’m either all in or all out and that’s where I begin to differ. I differ because I try my best to not allow my past to determine my present or my future. I differ because I live and love at my level of acceptance, not anyone else’s. I will admit, I don’t feel like I get back a fraction of what I put out, but I’ve accepted I will always be the one who does more… how do you survive in world full of differences, when the same thing that makes you swim, makes you sink?

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