So right, I said in a previous post that this year is the year of me. Learning myself again, adjusting things, making plans and trying to get everything executed so that I can step into 30 fine, with wine and a new attitude. One thing about me is I am extremely passionate over anything I care about, but that passion can make or break me because when the emotions kick in, I react, without thought and sometimes it’s not always best because the outcome can be trash.
So what do you do? My love and I are trying to try things differently in every aspect of our lives, and one thing we both agree on is – I CAN’T HELP HOW I REACT WHEN I AM IN MY FEELINGS! He and I are both shooters from the hip and it can be tragic depending on the day.
For me I am non-confrontational, so for the most part, if I feel some type of way, I won’t tell you. It bottles up until triggered, and BOOM, catastrophe. Which isn’t effective, however growing up in my family, your feelings didn’t matter. Adults didn’t care if they hurt your feelings and you couldn’t speak out on it without fear of being punished and sadly, there are a lot of grown people still battling with that today.
One of the things I hate most is when people tell their children to stop crying, and I am guilty of this and I’m working on it. Telling a child to stop crying or degrading a MALE child for crying is horrible and it has to stop. Children aren’t taught how to effectively deal with anger and emotions. It’s “get over it!”, “I don’t care if your feelings hurt!”, “stop crying like a punk!” Males especially, are bred into a society where showing emotion is weak, where its accepted of females, its unaccepted for males and then people wonder why we have so many angry beings in this world?
Hurt people, hurt people. Maybe its my “green” as he says, but I think if people could effectively communicate their emotions, without backlash, judgement or fear, reactions to them would change drastically.
One of the things I have been working on this month is thinking before I react. I am hot headed and emotional, and while I’ll never come off disrespectfully, I’m the type to give you a mouthful and piss you off. But, its not intentional, I don’t allow myself to fully process how I feel, I go off initial feeling, because I feel like your first gut instinct is the real thing you want to do. HOWEVER, being an adult now, eh not so much. You have to take time to, as my sister says “peel back the layers”, assess the situation but keep in mind your original reaction and then say to your self “is this battle worth the war?” Most of the time, ITS NOT!. A lot of the time it is, but even if its worth the war, still find a calm, peaceful way to resolve, and if you can’t, then by all means do what you do.
Its most important to remember that, even while you’re emotional, there are others that care about you and their feelings matter too. It’s okay to excuse yourself to gather your thoughts, figure out a game plan and go back to it. But try not to burn a bridge in the heat of passion.
And this goes for anywhere, in life. Just take a step back and say ‘is this worth it’ and if its not go take a shot and enjoy the rest of your day!
Site updates –
I am working on getting my vlog up and running, Facebook is still shaky as I have not really been active on there, and I have Twitter but I haven’t really done much there. Take some time like/follow and interact with me. Have some really exciting stuff for you – like my first time at a stripper fitness class!