Random Thoughts of Ashleigh Noelle


Was catching up and binge watching Lucifer. Totally love that show, Tom Ellis is my boy crush. His accent, his eyes, his swag *melts* but anyway this is NOT a Tom Ellis post *swoons*.

Anyway I’ve always been told I have a good ear for music. Lately, I have been trying to get out of the normal that I listen to and expand my horizons as I have an opportunity to write for some artists in the near future (yay).

The song that stuck out to me most is “Unsteady” by the x Ambassadors. It touches my heart while I deal with really personal issues in my life right now. But mostly, the song stuck out to me after it was brought to me that I suffer from mental abuse and unknowingly possibly ruined something really important to me. This last week, a lot of changes have been made in my life, none of which I like but it puts me back into perspective. To know that, what I’ve been doing or have deemed normal, is not normal. The trickle down affects its had on my relations with everybody, including my children and my Love, its heartbreaking. Reached out to my therapist for her input and her words were “I told you this years ago and you were in denial. Now, are you ready to heal?”

I will say with everything going on I feel broken. I don’t have the support system I need but I have a support person, just feel like a burden because he’s dealing with his stuff, taking on my stuff, and whoever else stuff. I wish that the pain and hurt I feel goes away. I wish the shade and unnecessary comments come to a halt. One of the worst things in life is watching something you truly worked hard for go down the drain. All your efforts, investments, plans, goals and dreams…. gone.

And all I want is for someone, him specifically – to hold on to me, cause I’m a little unsteady..




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